What I want my VIP card to do

I have a purse full of VIP and loyalty cards, don't we all.? But what I want my VIP card to do is give me access to a VIP bathroom. Really. These mega stores are great and I quite like a trip to Spotlight but my dream is to be able to use the card to go to the loo.
Having worked as manager in a large department store the reason that stores no longer offer an public loo is that the druggies get in there and make a mess. I suggest that stores have a swipe card affair that lets the VIP card holders in which will maintain their security.

All in favour say Aye!